Ministerial Memos

Counseling Un-Counselables (is that a word)

Counseling is part of the gig. Unless you are on a staff that can afford a “counseling pastor” this is something you will have to do. Even if you have said staff member, since you are touching lives with the life-changing Word of God, there will be people in situations in which they will need counsel and they will call on you.

Unfortunately, there are those who treat you like their personal counseling caddy needing you to be available 24/7 and willing to drop anything to help them thru the crisis de jour. These folks become a burden; use-up your time; zap your energy; and, often do not do what you’ve told them to.

I checked with an “excellent” counseling pastor friend of mine in regard to this type of person. Here’s his suggestions.

“I have had cases like this. We are not called to fix others. We can only be faithful with the truth of the Word as we seek to apply it to our own lives and others. Those who are ‘uncounselable’ need to be challenged to change or stop coming for counseling. Give homework assignments and tell them they cannot come back until they do their assignments. We cannot do the work of the Holy Spirit. Only He can change hearts. Sometimes people need to live with the consequences of their choices.”

Good words. If you wish to go further with this, let me know and I will put you in contact with my pastor friend.